It is generally recognised that our open plan house is not really working so we are thinking of looking for a house - or houses - where everyone can have more privacy.

Bear is in agreement with this but got really stroppy when I said we had made an appointment to look at a couple of places on Friday afternoon. Now if relations were friendly there would be no reason why he shouldn't come with Jay, CC and me but the Bear has made it plain that he wouldn't be seen dead in the same car as my son, so, inevitably, he is the one who will be left at home. After all, Jay and CC would be doing the buying so they need to be there, and they take  me along to translate. And, anyway, this is just a preliminary investigation to see what's out there.

In addition to this projected trip, I committed the unforgiveable crime (in Bear's eyes) of accompanying Jay to a dermatologist's appointment yesterday afternoon and then meeting CC for a coffee before doing some shopping for the evening meal.

So there was ample fuel for another row.

And it started last night with the usual accusations:

1.We scheme behind his back. (Yes, I admit, we didn't tell him about CC's plans until after the New Year because we didn't want to spoil the festivities for everyone.)

2.I'm so selfish because I expect everyone to tie in with what I want. (This is because I love having friends and neighbours round occasionally!)

3.I go out with Jay and CC but not with Bear. (I have been to appointments with both Bear and Jay this week. Bear was not at all well for a few days after my cataract op. so I thought he'd be relieved if Jay took me to do the shopping. We went for a coffee afterwards. That's a crime in Bear's eyes.)

4. I think more of them than I do of Bear and I always put them first. (This has been his complaint for as long as I can remember. Can't he understand that a mother has the capacity to love her children without it diminishing her love for her husband. In the end, his constant efforts to 'get rid' of my son and daughter killed off my love for him. I admit, I haven't been 'in love' with him for years - at times I don't even like him - but, despite that, I feel responsible for him as he is not getting any younger or fitter and I do still care about him in a strange sort of way. The trouble is, if I start softening towards him, as, for example, when he suffered discomfort all day at the hospital 'just to be with me', it isn't long before his unreasonable attitude resurfaces and my feelings harden again.)

After going round in circles with all the usual accusations and insults last evening and again this morning I found myself blurting out, 'Well, you'd better think seriously about what you want to do, but if you can't be civil to everyone you might as well f*** off back to England!'

He immediately put on his 'really hard done by' act and dared me to tell all our friends what I'd said to him.

So I have.