It's just typical that the day of the long awaited appointment with the specialist dawns and my knee is the best it's been for months!

Instead of hobbling and limping I've been walking briskly, going up and downstairs (a little gingerly) and even risking the odd (weight bearing) bend of knee. Of course, this is all thanks to the fact that CC is here and so I've been able to rest more.

It was rather difficult to explain to the the Doctor exactly how painful it was and what a problem it was to get around. Even when he pulled, pushed and bent the offending knee it didn't hurt that much. I was beginning to feel a bit of a fraud.

But when he perused the x-ray and MRI scan he announced that I had deformed kneecaps - both of them. They were 'made like that' he said, 'from birth'. 'Pity I can't have new ones', I said. 'Oh but you could, he replied, 'I put one in only yesterday. However, you are not ready for surgery yet'.

He prescribed a knee support and ten sessions of physiotherapy to stretch the thigh muscle and said I could have another cortisone injection if it played up again and that it might be possible to inject a gel to support the kneecap.

Sounds like having a breast implant in your leg!

Wedneday 9th October (2002)

Little sleep since 2.30 but we have to get up early today. Feeling very shaky - totter downstairs and freshen up in the shower. Jay makes some vanilla tea but I can't eat a thing.

We drive to Belval (We have friends here, who were away when we arrived in France. I didn't write in the diary exactly how we arranged to go there and can't remember.) discussing options and feelings. Maybe I've calmed down a bit now but am not optimistic. Jay is talking about going to see agents in Norwich about renting.

Hubert (our friend's brother who lives next door) opens the door at Belval, holding onto Yaris's collar. Hasty goodbyes with Jay and I go in the house. Did we say goodbye properly? - I remember a quick hug and a promise to ring this evening.

Conversaton with Hubert is strained, although we both try to keep it going. At last he says he must go home and will I undo the door when Marie and Michel get  back. I dash to the loo and miss their ring at the doorbell but Yaris is barking. We greet each other and then I try to explain the situation in very simple French.

'Did you realise that Ralph and I have had problems?

'Not at all'

'Well, he has always been jealous of CC and Jay . . . .

Amazingly, they understand readily and are most sympathetic. They volunteer lots of help and telephone their Notaire for advice. He agrees to come round at one o'clock. We have an early lunch - tomato salad, confit du canard, cheese and apple tart - and he arrives before the coffee.

Michel and Marie explain the situation in rapid French. The Notaire is most helpful. He thinks he has a suitable house in Charleville and others in two nearby villages. This makes me feel much more optimistic.

9.50p.m.

Found a house!

Marie and Michel have been fantastic. They arranged a visit to one of the village houses and took me to see it. It is BIG and there are two steps at the entrance but that should be OK with a ramp. The decor could do with a bit of work but it's clean. There's a big lounge, a reasonable kitchen and a bedroom/study plus accessible toilet and bathroom on the ground floor and three bedrooms upstairs - separated by a huge loft, complete with linen line. The stairs are variable as far as safety is concerned and those going down to the cellar are particularly hazardous!

There's a small garden and two garages. The village itself is very pleasant and there are plenty of shops, a doctor's surgery and even a hairdresser. Marie has put a '5 day option' on it for us.

Michel took me to see  the house in Charleville. It is directly opposite Match (a supermarket)  and on a very busy road. However, the Notaire promised us the keys to visit it at 9 o'clock tomorrow so we're going out of politeness, and, as Marie put it, to make sure there are no regrets.

We came to the conclusion that it would be better for me to stay with Marie and Michel than with Claudine and J.Y in Charleville so we went to explain them and ask J.Y to sign the papers for the bank. It was embarrassing because he was  expecting me to stay and was cooking dinner. Oh dear! Hope he wasn't too offended. (It was good of them to say I could have their daughter's room during the week but as no-one is at home till late each evening and there was no offer of a spare key, I'd have to occupy myself in town till they got home.)