OK, I said I wouldn't write, but I'm getting used to funny vision so here goes:
After three days of applying drops to the left eye we arrived at the clinic before 7a.m. and I have to admit to feeling rather nervous after waking up from a pretty vivid nightmare only an hour before.
The hospital was somewhat chaotic because of 'cleaning' after a fire on the second floor a few weeks earlier. What a good start.
You are 'a jeun?' enquired the nurse. 'Yes' I replied and then suddenly remembered I'd had a cup of tea. Oh dear, that put the cat among the pigeons. As there was no question of a general anaesthetic I didn't think it mattered. (In fact, if my stomach hadn't been tying itself in knots I might even have had a yoghurt.)
'I'll have to ring the theatre and they'll probably put you last', said the nurse.
Admission formalities over I was asked to take a shower in Betadine (disinfectant) and don a flimsy paper 'nightgown' before getting into bed.
She came back a few minutes later to confirm that they would take me last and also to give me a pill to 'calm me down' as my blood pressure reading was sky high. The pill made me fall asleep pretty quickly but only for about half an hour and then I was wide awake.
Poor Bear insisted on staying and was sitting uncomfortably on a hard chair. I suggested he went for a coffee in town but he stayed put until they came for me at about 10.15. Without my glasses I couldn't see what was going on but was aware of being left in a cold and draughty corridor for some time before someone said 'Bonjour' and shook my hand. He inserted a canular and muttered something about feeling sleepy - but I didn't. I was still very much awake when they wheeled me into the operating theatre.
The surgeon greeted me and then someone said 'This is the worst bit' as they stuck a tube up my nose and plonked a mask completely over my face. I tried to explain that I was worried about breathing (in fact I was having a panic attack because I can't bear having my face covered.) My pleas were dismissed with the information that I would get enough oxygen through the tube up my nostril. They cut a slit above my left eye and poured on more anaesthetic drops. By this time the panic attack was going into overdrive and my legs started trembling uncontrollably. The surgeon asked the anaesthetist to do something and the trembling stopped but i was still fighting for breath and gulping what air I could through my mouth so that my throat felt like the bottom of a sand pit. My main concern was that i would move and disturb the surgeon's work but he carried on regardless and after what seemed an eternity they took the mask off and I started tembling all over again.
It was at this point that I realised my arms were tied down, albeit loosely. I asked if they would take out the tube but I still found myself gasping and gulping and my blood pressure was still very high.
After being left in the cold for some time I was taken back to a different room on the fourth floor where Bear was sitting patiently. There was another lady in this room, waiting to go home and so Bear was banished while she got dressed. Then another lady was admitted and he had to go outside again.
My throat was dry and I was finding it very difficult to relax and breathe normally so I was not very good company. About an hour later they brought me a 'colation' of yoghurt, apple purée, orange juice and some biscuits. I gulped the orange juice but couldn't swallow anything else so Bear ate the purée and biscuits.
The rest of the day passed with frequent trips to the loo accompanied by futile attempts to hold the paper nightdress together at the back en route, (panic attacks always make me wee alot) and intermittant dozing - me in the bed, but Bear on the hard chair.
Jay and Cc came in to see me but didn't stay long when they realised that I felt too groggy to make conversation. The surgeon came round at 5.30, took off the eyepatch, looked into my eye with a torch, held up three, then five fingers, which I could see reasonably clearly and then stuck the patch back and announced I could go home as soon as I'd completed the necessary formalities.
Said formalities involved waiting at the nurses station, after getting dressed, to have the canular removed, another dressing put on the eye and instructions for administering a variety of drops for the next month.
It was a tremendous relief to get home but it took a day or two before I felt calmed down, and my appetite still hasn't returned - so what a good kickstart to the diet.
The only problem is, I have to go through this all again on the 29th January!
