The Bear's 'bouquet' came in the form of  a severe ear bashing - several in fact.

The first was when I said I'd like to take the car to visit my friend in the next village who is off sick. Bear was still in bed but he insisted on coming with me so I had to wait while he got up. As I drove towards her house, feeling quite confident at the wheel, he said I was going too fast (40m.p.h.!!) and reminded me that I hadn't driven for ages and therfore I wouldn't be able to cope for some time. Huh!

We then went to the supermarket to look for a lead for his camera and do some other shopping and I wasn't allowed to drive. On the way out there is a roundabout and Bear drove straight out into the path of an oncoming car. Of course, being on the left hand side of the car, I got the dirty look from the other driver as he hooted angrily. 'Whatever are you doing', I exclaimed and Bear immediately launched into a tirade.

'I couldn't see because your head was in the way. You're always moving it about. If you want to drive you can. You'll soon find out how difficult it is to drive on the right side of the road with a RHD car'.

I pointed out that I did know what it was like and had driven in France in the past, albeit not for some time.

All the rest of the way home he went on and on about the Whale, CC and Jay and reminded me what a selfish cow I was. How I had hurried him out of bed that morning; how I had schemed to come and live in France; how I refused to see his point of view; how I wasn't even listening to him now.

My reply was that I was listening but it just wasn't worth responding (especially as I didn't want to risk another near miss - or worse).

It also made me think of something he told me about his own parents. His mother used to say that when his father ranted on 'He always knows that when I say nothing I'm thinking arseholes'.

"French 'fonctionaires' have a habit of making up the rules as they go along" I explained to CC as we sat in the waiting area of the CPAM (health insurance office) and I was proved right.

Our turn came and we went into office 'B' where there was a slightly harrassed looking chap. I explained that CC used to work in London but had been in France since Christmas and now wanted to stay here so how would we manage for reimboursement for the doctor's visits she had already had what should we do about registering her into the French system.

He launched into an explanation involving various forms to fill in and papers to produce but as I started asking questions about E111s and Cartes de Sejour he became less and less sure of himself and finally fled from the room muttering 'C'est compliqué', presumably to ask for help.

He returned some minutes later and ceremoniously ripped up the forms he had already given us and started again. This time he asked for an E104, full birth certificate and proof of address, but nothing could be put into action till CC had been here for three months - unless she found a job.

CC could not believe how hit and miss the system was but she ain't seen nothin' yet!