CC and I went to the CPAM (Health cover) yesterday and almost made it to a Carte Vitale.

The young girl had obviously never dealt with English people before but she had the sense to pick up the phone and ask for assistance sooner rather than later.

We thought we had all the requisite papers - birth certificate, passport, E104 and forms from ASSEDIC (unemployment office) but there was one thing missing: a RIB (relevé d'identité bancaire).

'When we came earlier we were told that she could use my account as she has no income', I said.

'Oh no,' insisted the girl, 'you MUST have a RIB.'

She put all the papers together and handed them back saying.

'but you have everything else.'

So this morning we went to open a bank account and were surprised to find that you can have one for the sole purpose of having a RIB. You only need a passport, 15 euros and proof of residence et voila!

Of course, they won't let you loose with a chequebook or credit card.

Armed with yet another file containing all the bank papers off we went to the CPAM.

There's a queue-ticket system but we hardly had time to put our bums on the bench before our number flashed up.

This time we proudly produced all the paperwork and sat back with bated breath.

The girl looked suspicious and  pouted but, yes, it seemed all was in order.

Then I asked about CMU (100%  free cover as CC is unemployed). Oh dear, it seems that because she was working last year and they take into account your earnings for the previous 12 months, she would probably only be eligible for a percentage of the extra insurance cover.

Anyway, she couldn't complete the necessary form until she had her Social Security number and that would take up to a fortnight. (Yesterday we had been told it would take about a week.) She also gave us a form for choosing a GP. The new rules say that everyone must choose their 'medecin traitant' and they can't go and see a specialist (and be reimbursed) without a letter from the said GP. This is because, in the past, the French were in the habit of seeking second, third or fourth opinions from various specialists and the Social Security was footing the bill - or, at least, 70% of it.

Of course, now, you have to pay 21 euros to ask your doctor to write a letter of referral and the Social Security has to pay 14 euros of that. The rest is paid by your 'Mutuelle' or 'private' insurance. This is not obligatory but it's highly advisable as hospital costs are very expensive. On the positive side, Mutuelle insurance is a lot cheaper than Private Medical payments in the UK but the Health service in France is as good as, if not better than BUPA.

The only problem is that it takes time, patience and a great deal of determination to get into the system.