Bear is back and the house has resumed its aura of gloom.

We went into town for his 8.30 appointment for an injection in his knee and he started giving me an earbashing (allbeit in a low voice) in the waiting room.

As the doctor was running late already it gave him plenty of time to tell me how everyone in England thought I was selfish and insensitive not to see his point of view: how they all thought the situation was untenable - how could I expect him to put up with my children and the Whale? All he wanted now was to live the rest of his life in peace and happiness with me.

In other words - why don't you leave your family to their own devices and give all your attention to me, me ME?

It was useless to point out that for me, our marriage was over years ago. The thought of spending retirement alone with him, battling for the right to go out, do things, be a bit independent and have a life was enough to persuade me to make the break.

Then I blew it and agreed to let him back into our lives. CC and Jay cannot forget the way he treated all of us but they were prepared to give him another chance because they thought it would help me. Bear, on the other hand, has never ceased his attempts to get them out of my life - and he's still trying.

I can see how easily he could put his story over. He may have a point  about quite a lot of things but he manages to put a slant on it to make himself the hard-done-by victim.

He chooses to forget that he has been jealous, possessive, intolerant and  bad-tempered for most of our marriage. There have been good times, of course, but living with him is like walking on eggshells; you are always waiting for him to crack and explode.

So, forgive me if this post is a bit depressing. Tomorrow I'll write about something more cheerful.