Among the regional specialities of the Ardennes one can normally count on rain. Last year we had interminable wetness all through what was supposed to be Spring and everyone complained that it ruined crops. Most vegetables were late and those who had planted their potatoes at the normal time found that they had a very bad year. When it rains here it usually chucks it down for several days at a time but, at least, the well isn't likely to run dry.

However, this year we have not had a drop fall in our garden since 26th May -  until today, when there were a couple of showers which just wetted the surface and then dried up in a matter of hours. The well is still working, but for how much longer?

The rest of France seems to be getting all our rain and I even heard that some people in the south have had to put their heating back on or light their fire in the evening.

I can't believe that every day I look at the weather forecast actually hoping for a good downpour.

Bear is back and the house has resumed its aura of gloom.

We went into town for his 8.30 appointment for an injection in his knee and he started giving me an earbashing (allbeit in a low voice) in the waiting room.

As the doctor was running late already it gave him plenty of time to tell me how everyone in England thought I was selfish and insensitive not to see his point of view: how they all thought the situation was untenable - how could I expect him to put up with my children and the Whale? All he wanted now was to live the rest of his life in peace and happiness with me.

In other words - why don't you leave your family to their own devices and give all your attention to me, me ME?

It was useless to point out that for me, our marriage was over years ago. The thought of spending retirement alone with him, battling for the right to go out, do things, be a bit independent and have a life was enough to persuade me to make the break.

Then I blew it and agreed to let him back into our lives. CC and Jay cannot forget the way he treated all of us but they were prepared to give him another chance because they thought it would help me. Bear, on the other hand, has never ceased his attempts to get them out of my life - and he's still trying.

I can see how easily he could put his story over. He may have a point  about quite a lot of things but he manages to put a slant on it to make himself the hard-done-by victim.

He chooses to forget that he has been jealous, possessive, intolerant and  bad-tempered for most of our marriage. There have been good times, of course, but living with him is like walking on eggshells; you are always waiting for him to crack and explode.

So, forgive me if this post is a bit depressing. Tomorrow I'll write about something more cheerful.

Bear is due back at ten to nine this evening.

To make the most of fine weather and our last stressfree day for the forseeable future we decided to take a little trip to Dinant.

Thursday being my day to meet up with Yvette we invited her to come along and she was thrilled at a chance to go out. We picked her up at 12.30 and set off. She chatted non-stop in a mixture of French and English and Jay kindly refrained from playing his usual music.

Dinant was busy but not as crowded as it can be during the Summer so we found a table fairly easily, manoevred Whale into position and waited to order some ice cream. The waitress was a miserable woman who wasn't prepared to offer a greeting or a smile but the icecreams were HUGE and very good. Yvette insisted on treating us but decided the waitress did not deserve a tip.

Pushing Whale about along the uneven pavements was hard work, so after buying some bread and a 'coque' (speciality of Dinant: spiced biscuit made in various shapes which you can keep as a decoration) to send to Jay's friends who have recently moved to Spain, we headed back to the car and took another route back.

Yvette had made a lemon tart as a thank you and she also gave us some acacia flowers, explaining that you dip them in batter and deepfry them. They smell delicious but I'm not sure I'd want to eat them.

It was a very pleasant afternoon and, hopefully we'll take her out another Thursday - with or without the Bear.

May 1st is a jour de ferié (bank holiday) and as it fell on a Tuesday this year many people also took Monday off. Next Tuesday is also a jour de ferié (Victoire 1945) - with it's additional Monday off - and then there's Ascension Day on May 17th - a Thursday so people take Friday off as well. According to our local paper some people will only work 17 days this month.

It is a custom in France to offer one another lily of the valley for good luck. A charity association in the village sells them at rather inflated prices so, despite having a corner of the garden full of them I always feel obliged to buy some when they knock on the door.

Every Mayday our village holds a Brocante - a cross between a fair and a market. Last year everyone was fed up because it rained all day, but yesterday was fine and sunny. Stalls were set up before 7a.m. and the roads were crowded from eight till late at night. Besides the expected display of all sorts of goods there were icecream vans with long queues, another van selling chips and snacks and a large refreshment stall and bar on the village hall carpark.

There were roundabouts, bumpercars and a rifle range too, and live music in the evening so everyone should have found something to interest them.

We spent most of the day wallpaper stripping as it was too hot and crowded to go out and saved our look round till late afternoon, coming back with chips and croque monsieur for tea.

This morning the village showed signs of the invasion with plenty of litter, bottle banks full to overflowing - and bottles left lying around but by lunchtime everything was clean again, thanks to the efforts of the half dozen or so handymen employed by the 'commune'.

I took advantage of Bear being away by going up to Jay's room to watch DVDs until midnight. When I came downstairs I said goodnight to Whale and told him CC and Jay would be down soon to 'put him to bed'. (They do the bedtime routine and I do the morning chores).

Within a quarter of an hour I was snuggled up with two cats and just beginning to drop off to sleep. Then Whale called me - softly - as though trying to ascertain whether or not I was asleep yet.

I ignored him and went back to dreamy thoughts. A few minutes later the calls came again, louder this time.

"What's the matter?"

"I think they've fallen asleep up there. They haven't come down yet."

"No, I told you. They're watching a DVD.They'll be down when it's finished."

I may have dozed because it seemed pretty soon after that when there was shouting from Whale's room. He was calling Jay, then CC then me - loudly - then came cursing and exhasperated sighing.

I dislodged the cats, dragged myself out of bed and went along to see what the fuss was about.

He was sitting up and looking harrassed.

"They must have falled asleep and no-one's emptied my bag." (the one holding wee from his catheter)

"But they can't both be full" (I always leave a spare one so that he can change if one does become full).

"No, but I can't go to sleep like that."

Oh well, I was up so I emptied the bag - rather grumpily - and toddled back to bed. I had only just tucked myself in again when I heard Jay and CC come down. I looked at the time. It was 12.52 - maybe I could get some sleep now.

A while later Jay knocked on the door,

"Are you awake mum?"

"Well I am now. What's the matter?"

"Did you hear that noise?"

"What noise?"

"Oh weird. It sounded like an animal outside. The cats pricked up their ears and ran to the conservatory to see what it was."

"It may have been the dogs next door but one. I dunno."

"OK, sorry if I woke you. Goodnight. Sleep well."

It's little wonder I slept through my alarm this morning and was woken by the nurse clattering about in the bathroom. (Good job she has a key to let herself in).