At the risk of offending the more practical males among you I just have to show you this email attachment that my sister sent me:

CLASSES FOR MEN   (with Bear related comments in mauve.)
Classes for Men at The Adult Learning Centre

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM .
 Class 1 How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
 Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM
Bear doesn't like cold drinks so this is totally irrelevant for him.

 Class 2
 The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
 Round Table Discussion.
 Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Bear does know how the put a new toilet roll on the holder but I'm not sure he knows where to find the supply in the cupboard.

 Class 3
 Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--
Group Practice.
 Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Bear needs this class badly. He swears it's not him, but little puddles are usually found after he has been in the loo. He has recently 'been' in the upstairs toilet as he has been 'pottering' in the attic. Jay has had to clear up the wee three times in two days. (As far as I know he hasn't watered the walls or bath as yet.)

 Class 4 Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
 Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Dirty washing is often found in the bathroom or under the bed but, in fairness,  he has been known to put it in the laundry basket.

 Class 5
 Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
 Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM
Oh, Bear badly needs this class. He studiously avoids any contact with dirty dishes. His meals are often served on a tray in front of the TV. He puts the tray on the settee when he's finished and there it stays until someone else clears it up.
When we have visitors he sometimes makes an attempt to 'help' but it's blatantly obvious that he hasn't clue where anything goes - not even the dirty plates!

 Class 6 Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday
 7:00 PM
Bear gets quite ratty if I take charge of the television. We seldom agree on programmes.

 Class 7
 Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places also Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
 Open Forum.
 Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
I'd like to add another lesson here: 'How not to blame other people if you can't find it.'

 Class 8 Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
 Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Flowers would be nice occasionally - 'sigh'

 Class 9
 Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
 Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Bear had an excellent sense of direction (in the past) but it lets him down more frequently nowadays.  

 Class 10 Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Eeek - I'm not ready for parking yet. It would be nice if he refrained from sniping when I just drive a short distance.

 Class 11
 Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
 Online Classes and role-playing . Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Reckon I'm more Mum than Wife but it would be helpful if he didn't treat me lke a naughty child.

 Class 12 How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
 Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Shopping with Bear consists of going to the supermarket when forbidden items get dropped into the trolley. This class probably refers to clothes shopping. That's something I don't do. Not with him anyway.

 Class 13
 How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and other Important Dates  
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Bear remembers  birthdays etc. He just doesn't buy presents - or flowers.

 Class 14 The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
 Live Demonstration.
 Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
I can honestly say I have never seen Bear approach the oven. He can use the microwave if I leave a diagram.
 Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued
 to the survivors.

Maybe I could add one more class in 'How not to leave the sink spattered with toothpaste'

Any suggestions for further lessons????