It isn't easy coping with French and computer language even though lots of English words are used so we enlisted the services of a couple of amateur enthusiasts recommended by our friends.

A few months ago they equipped us with Wifi (prononced whiffy in French) because my broadband ISP was playing up and I was spending a fortune on expensive technical helplines.

It's bad enough in English but, in French,  when you have to ask them to repeat everything two or three times the phonebill mounts up.

The big problem was that the promise of connections for all three computers fell through when the metal in the fireplace meant that the little waves wouldn't reach the Bear's computer. The easy solution would have been to move it the other side of the wall next to the 'Livebox' but he wouldn't hear of it.

Then Jay's computer was infected with a pretty vicious virus so everyone used 'mine'.

The computer 'experts' took away Jay's computer and 'debugged' it but within days it was playing up again. It's his birthday next month so we ordered a new computer - just the tower - and they have  spent several hours over two days installing it and trying to arrange wifi for everyone.

I had the bright idea that if we put the box upstairs it might be possible to 'feed' all the computers. Seemed like a good idea in principle but in practice it wasn't so straightforward.

First of all they had to put  a receiver in my computer. Their first idea (they called it a clé - key) came to nothing so they came back with a card and little aerial thingy.

It made me wonder how 'expert' they really are because it took two hours and lots of 'oh's 'ah's and mild expletives before they succeeded in getting connected.

Eventually all three PCs appeared to be online, I made coffee all round, the bill was paid and off they went.

As soon as I went to check my email it claimed it couldn't make a connection. I've been fiddling with it but the only 'cure' is to restart. It even has the audacity to tell me I can't have a webpage because I'm offline when the little blue and green boxes tell me I am connected and the signal is good.

Never mind, Parsley is having fun playing with the aerial.